“Dude so give me a five minute re-cap of the night.”

“It was ok. At least I thought it was. I mean, it was going well until about three quarters of the way through the show this chick says ‘I’m gonna go smoke a cigarette’ and goes outside and fucking doesn’t come back.”

“Are you serious? What do you mean?”

“I mean dude, she went outside to smoke, which is straight, but after like thirty minutes I realize I’m still standing by myself like a fucking toolbox. The Horrors finished their set, played an encore and still no word from this girl. She didn’t even text me to say, ‘Sorry, I’m stuck talking to a friend’ or ‘Sorry, I have the shits’ or something. You know?”

“Yea, I bet it was the latter.”



“But that’s weird, right?”

“What, the shits?”

“No dude, I mean to not let someone know that you’re ditching them.”

“Well, it wouldn’t be ditching if you told them you were about to do it.”

“Fuck you man, you know what I mean. That shit’s just rude. Girls can be real gay sometimes.”

“Lesbians? Well, was the show good at least?”

“Yea, Crocodiles killed it and the Horrors are legit.”

“See, there you go man. This chick gave you a free ticket to a sweet show. That’s a good night in my book. Plus, you should try to abuse this for other free shit since she works at the venue.”

“Totally. You’re absolutely right.”

“Good. Glad we got that sorted out….well, I’m gonna go smoke a cigarette.”

“Kiss my ass.”