Chicago Bulls: No.1 Draft Pick B*tches!

May 20, 2008

Tonight, the basketball gods have shined on the Chicago Bulls. With less than a 2% chance to win the 2008 Draft Lottery, the Bulls pulled the largest upset of the season by beating out the rec-league teams of Miami, Seattle, and Minnesota. Now the Bulls are faced with the tough decision between Memphis phenom Derrick Rose or Kansas State man-beast Michael Beasley.

Both players are leaving after prolific freshman seasons. Derrick Rose carried his team to the NCAA Championship game, while averaging 14.9 pts 4.5 rebs 4.7 asts 1.2 stls. Michael Beasley wasn’t a slouch either. He led his less-talented Kansas State team to the second round of the tournament, while averaging a panty-dropping 26.2 pts 12.4 rebs 1.3 stls 1.6 blks. Both these players are 19 year old future millionaires with the skills to become perennial allstars.

As an avid Bulls fan, I am ecstatic about this opportunity. They already boast a solid team with a core of Luol Deng, Ben Gordan, and Kirk Hinrich along with talented youngsters in Tyrus Thomas and Joakim Noah. Based on need, I would say that Beasley would be a perfect fit. He’s the front court presence they need, and he has attitude. His low post moves are mature, and he’ll rip another guy’s (friend or foe) head off for a rebound. The problem is: Rose seems like a potential superstar in the mold of Dwayne Wade. If Rose blows teams away in workouts, I would push for a trade of Kirk or Ben and Tyrus for a low post player. Rose will be the closer the Bulls need.

Anyways, I think either player will help the team. Next season is going to be great, and I’m definitely buying tickets to watch the Bulls rip the Knicks. I can’t wait to hear the Boos of Knicks fans rain down from MSG on that overpaid pu pu plater of players as Rose/Beasley drop 30.

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